What I must do.

This is ridiculous! I am just being a dumbass drama queen again. I will not do this to myself again. I can sense that something is wrong, I know it!

He'll talk to me whenever he wants. But as soon as I get to my mom's for winter break, I will no longer initiate contacts unless required (which is unlikely). In any case, that's how it's gonna be. No bullshit and no falling out. I do what I do for him and especially myself. We both need this...

...he just won't admit it.